Dream A Little Dream for Me

Ok so last night I had some intense and odd dreams. The first one I can remember is where I was sitting on the curb near my old house and a flamingo approaches me and attaches his rear to my back and begins to poop on me.

With the flamingo attached to me and pooping I walk home and ask for assistance, no one would help me. I remove my swim trunks and proceed to walk to a friend's house and ask to take a shower, since apparently I wasn't allowed to take one at home. My mother, from our house begins to yell at me across the laneway,

"Why did you leave your dirty bathing suit here?! I'm not washing it!!"

As I wait to take a shower in my friends house, naked, in the kitchen, he has a large family meal and I am left to cover myself.

My next dream involved my wife and I in some wintry town. We are at a bar/7-11 with some rusty old regulars, as we leave to look for my car I see a van parked nearby. The van is parked very close to my car and I make a comment to the driver, who is sitting outside his van. He immediately runs in his car and takes off...my dreamlike mind realizes he was trying to steal my car. For some reason a modem-looking device on the passenger side under the glove compartment serves as my car-alarm. I realize he was using a laser to press the buttons on my alarm to turn it off. My next thought is to buy a small mirror to attach to the face of the modem/car alarm to prevent people using lasers to open it.

Suddenly I am in a house with a woman attempting to steal my car using eye-lasers, she is blinded by my new mirror device. The car, for some reason, is also in the living room of the house. I re-arrange the dining room set to act as a ramp and plan to jump out the large bay windows of this house.

Suddenly I am back in my apartment and in my bathroom, I see my wife's clothes thrown about on the bathroom floor. They are very dressy, something you would wear at a club. I run to the bedroom and accuse her of sneaking out and she tells me she went to see some friends. I throw her out of the apartment and call a locksmith to change the locks...dream ends.

Yeah...no more yogurt and sausages before bedtime...